Saturday, January 31, 2009

i want...

to see new new people...step outside my comfort zone.

i want to sleep under mosquito netting...
i want to stand under tropical water falls
i want to see the eiffel tower and eat real french bread
i want to see stonehenge
i want to stand on the great wall of china
i want to go on safari
i want to drive on the autobahn
i want to wake up with the sun
i want to tell people that jesus loves them...

my biggest fear is that i will never get to do any of these things...

Friday, January 30, 2009


so, i checked my email seventeen times in five hours. i should get to work...

what can you do?

since nobody follows this blog accept sarah (you're awesome), i am going to vent today. normally, i hate venters. i think people should suck it up , and get on with it. but all that pent up frustration just builds and builds, and thats not very healthy. especially if it's directed at just one person.

this one person meant alot to me a few years back. we were very close, and it hurt when we were no longer together. i went through a time of horrible pain and i never want to go through that again. looking back it was a good decision to go our separate ways, and i am thankful that God worked everything for good, he is so crafty that way...

needless to say, my feelings for said person are completely neutral, but i still have little flares ups of anger that surprise me. sometimes they are so strong, i wonder where it comes from. i know it's a problem with forgiveness, but i feel i have forgiven, then why do i still feel this way?

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

i have a severe case of the winter blues.

it's pretty bad

today i felt like crying when my car got stuck for the millionth time this calender year.

winter is hard. you have to dress in layers, wear boots, hats, scarves. gloves are mandatory. snow piles on top of you car, and it must be scraped off, if you can make it through the snow drifts at all. it's cold, sometimes so cold it hurts.

summer, on the other hand, is very easy. you can dress in the barest minimum amount of clothing. shoes are optional. the sun soaks into your skin. you can get into you car and it will be comfortable, you can even rool those windows down.

i wouldn't appreciate summer so much if we didn't have winter. i'm starting to see that God throws us challenges to open our eyes to the blessings in life. we can't have summer all the time, it has to get cold so we can enjoy the warmth.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

25 random things

i love these things,

1: I am terrified of heights

2: I have to read something, anything, before I fall asleep
3: I am the neatest person at work, yet my room is the messiest place on earth
4: I usually get up during the middle of movies and go to sleep, and never tell people goodnight
5: I have conversations with myself in the shower
6: I can't swim with my eyes open underwater
7: I hate green food
8: I have been to Australia, but never to Washington DC
9: I like to cook, but only when the mood strikes me, and that's never very often
10: I like to speed, and don't understand 30 mph speed limits
11: I'm taking Bollywood dance classes to prepare for my birthday party
12: I have always wanted to be a blonde
13: I have always wanted to go to Africa, but I know I won't like the food
14: I hate working a regular 9 to 5 job, and I hope there is more to life than this
15: I am trying to pray more for others this year, and so far, I'm doing pretty bad
16: Sometimes I eat a whole bag of chips in one sitting
17: I wish I had the motivation to excercise
18: I really like the taste of Slimfast
19: I wish I could take better pictures
20: Sometimes I am afraid to do what I really want to do
21: I just started blogging, and I'm not very good at it
22: I wish life was like a Coke commercial
23: I have always wanted to break out into song and dance with the people around me
24: I am painfully shy with strangers
25: Sometimes, for no reason at all, my face will turn bright red, usually at the most awkward times

Monday, January 26, 2009

oh, how i take my friends for granted. actually, i take everybody for granted. dad brushes of my car, mom is superwoman disguised as a housewife, my sister makes me laugh so hard i cry.

rachel and jen, they are two energetic, creative and interesting souls. my true bossom friends, to quote anne of green gables. the other two peas in our pod. where would i be without them?


yesterday i drove my friend becca to the airport. she will be in kenya for four months. on the way to jfk, we listened to a few sermons, seeing as it was the lord's day. one of the sermons was on money, soething i struggle with quite a bit.

the preacher was saying that the bible puts alot of emphasis on money, so it must be very important to God. i always thought that when someone talked about money in a church setting, that they wanted us to donate it to the church. i never really thought of my money's as being God's, because that's what it is.

this speaker also said that when we are given a gift and we don't share it with the one that gave it to us, we are being extremely selfish. why can't we give just a small portion of that gift back to the giver? why do we find it so hard to part with are money when God gave it to us, and he can take it back anytime?

it'a all about the attitude. it's my money, it belongs to me, right?

not so. it's God's money, and he wants me to willingly give it back to him.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

iron sharpens iron

i am one half of an extraordinary group.

iron sharpens iron prayer warriors accountability just the two of us peas in a

that's right, long name, two members.

rachel and i meet for lunch every thursday at 2:15 to eat pizza and discuss our weeks thus far. we also share prayer requests and and struggles we both have. i use this time to practice my listening skills.

i used to take these meeting lightly, we both did. we wouldn't plan anything, just sit around and gab, then realize the time and go on to cooler things.

now i'm starting to realize the responsibility that accountability takes. it isn't something that should be taken lightly.

i should be praying for rach, remembering her requests throughout the week. praying for her when she hasn't asked me to.

accountability is a big responsibility, and i hadn't realized...

just another lesson God is teaching me.

New Day, New Year

January 22, 2009

8 am: check Facebook

8:17 am: check Facebook

8:43 am: make coffee

9:05 am: do some work...

9:13 am: check Facebook

i need to find something to do other than checking Facebook...

on the train to long island, becca, justin and myself made some resolutions. i hate resolutions, i hate making them, sticking to them, thinking about them...not this year, i made some.

here they are (drumroll please)

read my bible more
pray more
get off my couch potato butt and do more activities
learn a new skill


love people more

this is going to be very hard

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